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Butter, celery, onions, parsley, basil, salt, pepper, leek, potatoes, chicken broth, and cream. Did I forget anything...? Ah, there's a good deal for some onigiri. Three in a package might be a little much for me, though. Let's see, if I add in this coupon...

[SETTING: GROCERY STORE. Party hearty!]

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--and it's not like I go out of my way to criticise your films, but you keep on insisting on putting in all this rubbish about explosions and all that, and, well, that is distinctly not how I remember Sherlock--

... Oi, America, you duffer. Is this another one of your pranks? Oh, yes, that's just brill, isn't it? Running away while good ol' England gives you an important speech? In fact, just nip around the corner for a good drink, maybe do some shopping, Bob's your uncle? Now, get back here right now, America! Th-This isn't funny! And I'm not saying that because I'm lonely, you blundering barmpot!

America!




America?




... oh, blow me.

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--!! Brother. Sister. Where are you? This is not house. This house--is house of Америка. Is bad house. Has smell of hamburgers and hot dogs. Disgusting filth.

I must find brother. Brother needs me. Where is brother? Brother.

Must be work of filthy Америка, Да? Cowardly Америка has taken brother away from me. He will pay.

I must clean house.

I must clean house and find brother.

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[[DN spoilers.]]

...

Shit! Shit, where the hell am I? I died. The Takada bitch killed me. Hey, Kira, you happy? Just one fewer of Yammy's boys that you have to deal with. Mello, aged twenty, just another name in that goddamn book.

Shit, I didn't live just to be a victim! You were my prey, Kira! Mine. We can't all get what we want, and I've pissed off God too many times. Poor Mello died so the great Near could capture the evil psychopath; that's how it goes, isn't it? Of course it is. It's gotta be Near. It's always Near.

C'mon, I'm as close to accepting my death as I'll get.

...

... This isn't hell. There's not enough flame. I've sinned too much for Saint Peter to let me rot in purgatory. Ha! And you know what that means? You haven't won yet, Kira. Believe me, you never will.

There's no place worse than hell than our own sweet lives.

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Upon taking a short, but relieving, nap in class, one might find the relief in waking up to the teacher's old-fashioned slap of the ruler on the desk. However, some of us do not have this option, and find themselves stuck somewhere in a dream-state and a Haruhi-state. What, you may ask, is exactly a Haruhi-state? It is a state of absolute terror and warfare, with transposable monsters like this was some terrible sci-fi movie that has yet to be released to the general public, or even edited at all!

In other words, I need to find a key to this lock, so that I may be given the opportunity to humorously wake up with an embarrassing yell or such. Where are you, Haruhi, and why have you taken me to such a place?! AGAIN?




Excuse me, but I seem to be quite lost. If anybody could tell me where I am, it would be much appreciated.
Ugh, my head... Stupid... sea prunes...

... Hey.

Hey, I'm not-- Hey! Where am I? Why am I here?! Did someone kidnap me? What's going on? WHO DARES TO TRY AND KIDNAP ME?

I DEMAND ANSW--!

[Coughing]

... Answers, and a drink of water.
I appear to be in some box. A box that doesn't even appear to be even quantumly possible. That's... That's just wonderful. Great. Extraordinary! And I don't even see the cre--

--River?

River, are you here? River!
Oh my. It seems like I'm lost! In a terrible place, too. It reminds me of my traumatic time at the abyss~ ♥ But I don't think this is it. It has a touch more... something! But strange, Alice isn't here with me. Which is understandable. But Gil? I'll need to have a long, long discussion with him. I'll find a cat first.

So here it is! I'm alone, in a strange, dangerous place. I bet that they don't even have tea. What a shame. Now, now... Who wants to introduce themselves to me first?